tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
