Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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