Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
