The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I will be naked everywhere
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
