my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
