Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
