look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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