I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
