she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
