Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
