As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
