My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
