You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
