I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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