the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
