I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He's on the porch naked. Help.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
