I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
