i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize