Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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