Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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