dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
