You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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