Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
