Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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