Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
