what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
