Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
