omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
