Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
