I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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