The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize