in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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