i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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