We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
