so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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