He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize