white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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