remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
