If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
