Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
