He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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