Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry