I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
