Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
