I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
