So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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