Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
