you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
