I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
