why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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