I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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