Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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