i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
