IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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