what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would fuck him just for his dog
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
