What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
where are my eyebrows?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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