Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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