I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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