five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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