I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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