Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
