sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
