I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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