why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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