I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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