how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
